It leads to what neuroscientists call integration, and what the And that something is awareness. 127 Trauma, Fragmentation, and the Soothing Certainty of Dogmatism, Connections between brain regions lead to a healthy and stable brain (and a healthy and stable life). 16 Why Lament (Surprisingly) Leads to Life and Freedom. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate the path toward healing, wholeness, and restoration. Type One - 32:00. 44 How Stories of Harm Lead to Agreements That Bind Us. for us, and who truly knows us. Gary explains what brought him to begin engaging his story. Todays episode looks at these two questions. Type Six - 21:00 Many people with a history of trauma find themselves stuck. We begin by talking about the relationship that many Christians have with their emotions. First, the other persons limbic brain regulates yourswhich is to say, their limbic brain soothes and calms yours. Its a beautiful conversation. I just didn't know it was possible to hear from God. Today we continue to discuss the importance of naming what has been true of the past so that we might be free from it. 8 When Your Story of Sexual Abuse Is Not Believed, In todays episode, I have a very honest and vulnerable conversation with Robyn about sexual abuse. 48 You Need More Than God with Sam Jolman. In todays episode, I identify some of the types of sorrow and grief that we all carry. Today we continue to discuss the importance of naming what has been true of the past so that we might be free from it. We also begin to talk about what the path toward healing looks like, including the role of lament in the healing process. Conversation is possible even with God. Are we dishonoring our father and mother if we name the hurt we experienced growing up? Tracy learned that attention with her father could be won by performing well in sports, dressing in boys clothings, and wearing her hair short. Tactic 8: This is going to sound both odd and wrong: you have to amplify the storytellers shame. 105 Complicity: Why Sexual Abuse Is So Damaging and How To Address It. Jerry and I cover the following topics in this episode: our tendency to try to muscle our way through Anxiety can be so debilitating. We talk candidly about how our bodies respond with arousal even when there is profound violation occurring. You can discern the source of the voice with a simple question: what is its tone and tenor? In todays episode, I identify some of the types of sorrow and grief that we all carry. The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. It's the emotional bond that you develop with the people you are closest tothe people who are there for you and who truly know you. on the four conditions needed to allow us to work with sorrow and And integration leads to emotional stability, which is to say affect regulation. I was recommended to listen to the attachment episodes by my therapist, and Ive yet to find a more wholesome podcast since. When you begin to reflect on harmful parts of your storystories that hold shame, fear, or rageyour limbic brain reacts and you enter a state of fight-flight or a state of shutting down. Think surprise attacks of disruptive kindness rather than direct confrontation. Drawing from her story of spiritual abuse, KJ talks about the pull to silence parts of ourselves in the name of belonging. If you linger in death, if you dip down into the bottom of the U-diagram, you will enter sorrow and grief and grief is met by the comfort of God which brings a newness to your heart, and a restoration of vitality and joy. Many Christians feel ashamed if they find themselves angry at God. The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. This app is the best and most convenient way to access The Place We Find Ourselves! Intellectual deviousness refers to the ways wicked people use words to twist truth, avoid guilt, and fill you with self-doubt. 82 Parenting: How Your Story Is Affecting Your Relationship With Your Children Part 1. However, our need for others can make us feel weak or too needy. How are we to navigate this? integration in your brain and liberation of your heart. Topics covered: the very human desire to have a blueprint or formula for how to live life (and why this doesnt work), coming undone by tragedy (such as a Stage IV cancer diagnosis at age 35), and the (false) promise of American individualism which says that we can conquer not only the external world, but our own inner world. My website: adamyoungcounseling.com Interview episodes give you a sacred glimpse into the real-life stories of guests who have engaged their own experiences of trauma and abuse. Awareness means choosing to pay attention to what is happening in your mind and body. Third, we need to find a few people who can be the village for us this will allow us to risk sharing our sorrow and grief with other people. Because, as Dan Allender says, The more certain you become, the less fragmented you feel.. Cathy and Dan reflect on what redemption actually means in the context of our stories, why they believe redemption is possible, and how our experiences of being an orphan, a stranger, and a widow can shape our sense of personal calling. As you begin to name the ways your parents harmed you, it is very common to think, Okay, Ill acknowledge that my Dad harmed me, but I dont think he really meant to do it. We live in a world at war. In Warfare Part 5, we look at how to wage war against the kingdom of darkness. It can be learned. On this scale, 5-6 represents a slight feeling of relaxed excitementyou are alert, present, and attentive. Every parent knows what its like to lose it with their children. And, as is the case with virtually all sibling abuse, there is so much more at play than an older sibling harming a younger sibling. Tactic 9: Notice when the storyteller turns on themselves and name it. The human heart heals by engaging ones story. I am joined today by KJ Ramsey. The verse that was most frequently mentioned? Your body tells a story. Today were going to talk about why awareness is so critical for healing, what it actually means, and how to do it. I am joined today by Aundi Kolber, the author of Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode and into a Life of Connection and Joy. You can sign up here. The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. yell at the other person, run away from them, or just freeze up in a state of paralysis), or shut down (collapse into a state of hopeless despair). Blaine reads a story from his childhood and then shares what happened as he realized that he had left out the most important part of the story. Topics covered include: feeling like there is something wrong with you but not knowing what it is, self-doubt about how you see reality, difficulty trusting your gut, learning to listen to your body and to trust the information that it is giving you. I am joined by KJ Ramsey to talk through her new book, The Lord Is My Courage. KJ explains why its so important to be honest and clear about the ways we have been harmed, and how our bodies often reveal truths about our trauma that our minds are afraid to speak out loud. 40 Love and War: Attachment and Intimate Relationships. There is an ultimate goal. I also make some comments about what the Bible teaches concerning whether or not your heart can be trusted. The Place We Find Ourselves 138 How To Heal From Sorrow and Grief Part 5 30 00:00:00 30 May 1, 2023 Fellow therapist Mary Ellen Owen joins me today to share her journey with sorrow. Some of the ground we cover includes what can be done when you cant feel the sensations in your body. your brain. Robyn tells the story of confronting her family about the abuse and not being believed. 23 How to Engage a Parent Who Has Harmed You with Autumn. Todays episode looks more deeply at the spiritual abuse KJ Ramsey suffered at the hands of Christian leaders. We talk about how she responded to the assault against her heart and body, and how she has come to reclaim much of what was stolen. I dont think my Dad was trying to be cruel, he was just pretty oblivious and clueless. Cyndi invites you to reconsider this stance. Over the course of the next four episodes, I will explain how to engage another persons story well. 50 Struggling with Sexuality Part 2: How Understanding Your Story Can (Surprisingly) Help with Jay Stringer. In the first half we talk about sexual abuse that doesnt involve physical touch, also known as subtle sexual abuse or covert sexual abuse. He then explains how that traumatic experience was reenacted 30 years later. In Part 3 of this series on how to engage someones story, we look at five specific tactics you can use. There are two reasons for this: Brain health is a function of the degree to which all parts of your brain are connected with one another. We cover a lot of ground today, including: Pascales ambivalence about longing for care from her therapist and being afraid of his care at the same time, how our family of origin story plays out in the client-therapist relationship, how our family of origin story affects our relationship with God, and the mysteriousness of self-harm. 96 Engaging With Someone Who Has Harmed You Part 4 - The Place We Find Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate the path toward healing, wholeness, and restoration. An alternative is to pay attention to your body and to become curious about what your body may be telling you. Topics include how to navigate life when you feel deeply disappointed by God, how to access the mothering of God, and why its so important to get a piece of paper and write down our losses so that we might grieve them. Part 2. Interview episodes give you . 38 The Process Of Learning To Hear From God The Place We Find Ourselves It turns out that the practice of reflecting on the story of your life actually promotes healing in your brain. In Warfare Part 1, we looked at the fact that The Place We Find Ourselves is living in the midst of a world at war. If you want to hear more of KJ's story, check out her recently published book titled The Lord Is My Courage. 30 min Attachment: What It Is and Why It Matters So Much The Place We Find Ourselves Christianity The way you attached to your primary caregiver shaped your brain more than anything else. This is the final episode in the series on interacting with someone who has harmed you. It can be learned. Scott leads groups for men who have a history of sexual abuse. You can register here. One central tenet of all story work is that in order for healing to occur there has to be an honest naming of what has been true. I also outline the difference between the freeze response and the shut down response. Laurie tells us how and why she began to engage her story at a deeper level. If you were angry at God for too long, you had a sense that there was something wrong with you. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate . 970-658-5510 In particular, we reflect on the importance of listening to our bodies in the battle to overcome the shame inherent in all sexual abuse. Interview episodes give you a sacred glimpse into the real-life stories of guests who have engaged their own experiences of trauma and abuse. If you have the symptoms of trauma, it is highly likely that you have a history of traumawhether you can locate that trauma in your story or not. But whats actually happening neurobiologically? What is our calling with regard to forgiving those who have harmed us? This is part 2 in a series of episodes on how to engage our sorrow and grief in a way that brings healing. 98 Engaging With Someone Who Has Harmed You Part 5. In the second half, Sandy graciously reads a story from when she was in kindergarten. Thats Gods job, not my job. In todays episode, I take a look at what the Bible says about judging other people. Today, in Part 2, we look at how, specifically, the kingdom of darkness wages war against your heart. Becky shares how her relationship with her Mom led to a style of relating in which she became committed to staying out of the way and becoming invisible. Becky goes on to talk about the importance of experiencing sorrow in the care of wise guides as we engage our story. Today I talk about how to break those agreements. Although we talk about quantum physics at the end, the focus of our conversation is What do you do when you experience something that calls into question your understanding of who God is and what God is doing in the world? Pete calls these experiences curveballs, and he suggests that these experiences are good things that cause us to grow and mature in our faith. We each have a deep desire to belong and the fear of exclusion sometimes keeps us bound to abusive people and harmful churches. In other words, the key to healing is connecting. 91 How Healing Happens: Revisiting The U Diagram. What fun. Rotate your phone to display larger playback controls. Affect refers to your moment by moment experience of your internal bodily sensations. By the end of this episode, I hope you have a good understanding of what a ritual is and why rituals work. I am joined today by Jay Stringer to talk about the relationship between our current sexual difficulties and our attachment histories. developed a guide entitled How to Write Your Own Psalm Although we talk about quantum physics at the end, the focus of our conversation is What do you do when God created our hearts, minds, and bodies to heal. Your words and your will are your weapons. So thank you. Bethany and I each share a story about how our parents talked to us about sex. At some point in our lives, each of us will encounter difficulties in our sexual life. The thesis is that if we are faithful to enter deathto dip down to the bottom of Cathy Loerzels U-diagramthen resurrection and healing can begin to exist. My website: adamyoungcounseling.com your brain are connected withone another. * Curious about pursuing your own story work? This is very healing because Interview episodes give you a sacred glimpse into the real-life stories of guests who have engaged their own experiences of trauma and abuse. Well explore both of those questions in depth. A young man seeks to make a difficult life change, no matter the cost. God created our hearts, minds, and bodies to heal. When your body scans your relational environment and detects anything that feels remotely threatening, it triggers your nervous system to do one of three things: socially engage (i.e. Your past experiences in life are profoundly influencing how you interact with, and parent, your children. Stuck in a place of hopelessness about our own healing. Not only does Heather take the body seriously when it comes to engaging trauma, she is also very skilled in designing rituals that facilitate healing. Attachment refers to the manner in which you connect with others. In short, the three reasons are: understanding your story will allow you to experience healing, stop reenacting your past in the present, and discover what you are meant to do in your part of the world (discover your kingdom). Im joined today by Rich Villodas, pastor of New Life Church in New York City. For more information, see the developers privacy policy. The Place We Find Ourselves APK for Android Download - APKPure.com It doesn't mean that this individual podcast uses them, or has access to this functionality. An environment is created in the home by the parents that allows for and, in some cases, even invites, sibling abuse. The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. Todays episode begins with an explanation of attachment: what it is and why its so important. Sexual struggles are rooted in our storiesand, very often, our stories of attachment to our primary caretakers. This is true in your individual story and it is no less true in our collective story as a nation. If you are able to tell your story while remaining connected to The first tactic in waging war is paying attention to what you are hearing and then determining the source of that voice. Last year John Eldredge wrote an important book called Get Your Life Back. In todays episode, Dan Allender and I discuss what it means to begin engaging the harm that we endured during our growing up years. We also talk about pornography in the context of our stories. 38 The Process of Learning to Hear from God. Type Eight - 19:30 When it comes to healing, paying attention to your body and working with your body is extremely important. Drawing from the book of Jeremiah, todays episode explores the question, What if God is free to create a new beginning in your life that is underived from your present circumstances?, 122 A Pastors Journey of Exploring His Story and Addressing His Trauma with Rich Villodas. The process ofreflecting on your story, sharing your story with another, and hearing anothers reaction to your storyconnects neural networks that were previously separated. It doesnt feel like madness for many of us because weve lived life at this pace for so long. We also talk about doing body work to heal the trauma stored in your body. Telling the story of the experience requires that your brain link your thoughts about the story (left brain) with your feelings about the story (right brain). Cathy Loerzel and I dive into why its crucial to take your wounds seriously, and how your wounds lead to the orphan experience, stranger experience, and/or widow experience. We also talk about what redemption looks like for each Jerry Sittser is the author of A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss. Direct confrontation is not going to work. His teaching forms the foundation of nearly every episode. Connecting Top to Bottom Telling your story not only leads to left-right integration, but it can lead to top-down integration. Second, we need to gradually move from a For most modern people, the place we find ourselves is in a land where grief and sorrow are unwelcome. 81 How To Get Your Life Back with John Eldredge. We discuss the necessity of honoring our stories with kindness and care, and the importance of engaging our bodies in the process of healing. The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. it can lead to top-down integration. 132 How to Heal from Sorrow and Grief Part 1. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate the path toward healing, wholeness, and restoration. separated. Its virtual, via zoom. you connect with others. Last year I saw an Instagram post asking people to share stories of Bible verses that had been used against them. The focus today is on the four conditions needed to allow us to work with sorrow and grief. Its The Place WE Find Ourselves. I then suggest that when we feel unstable, we are drawn toward theologies and worldviews that offer certainty. Please fix this so I can become a paid subscriber. 112 The Power of Compassion and Curiosity Toward Ourselves with Aundi Kolber. Its always we not I. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate the path toward healing, wholeness, and restoration.
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