I do everything I can to help her, but I feel like I'm just propping her up, and despite the medications she's taking she doesn't seem to ever improve. We list further resources on this page:https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, If you would like to get in touch with a therapist, you can search our directory for mental health professionals in your area: goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I'm trying so hard to give her her space. But she keeps going back to him for friendship,what the eff am I for her now? I feel like a slave. But i have noticed that she doesn't really do anything for me sexually, i sometimes ask her things but the answer is always no. Everyday is a battle. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry over into almost every aspect of our life together. I only get to talk to her when she's in the mood for talking. On my side my family is going through a very rough time and were worried about losing our home, Im going through a quarter-life crises where I dont know what I studied is the right thing for me, Im also really worried about my future because I dont know where Im heading in life. My advice to anyone going through this with a depressed person is just call it off and move on. If she is always trying to start arguments with you or picking fights, thats another sign that her feelings for you have changed. This makes any conversion on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties about her health are addressed. If your girlfriend is telling you that she needs some space, its important to respect her wishes. That sounds like my issue too. Ive been with my girlfriend for ten years, starting in college. Shell probably choose you at first but then once she goes back to try and be friends with the ex, end that shit. One day she wanted to elope Bcos she feared the crowd at our wedding and the next day she just broke it off completely with no reasons. If she used to be faithful and loyal to you, and now shes cheating on you, its a sign that her feelings for you have changed. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. What To Do If Your Girlfriend Doesn't Care About You Youre so much less experienced and you know so much less than you think, Im not saying that as a criticism at all, Im sure youve been through more than I can imagine, but people have gone through this before and somehow got passed it to live their life for decades and decades. Being long-distance, you are actually BETTER OFF than if you were local! Russo makes reference to this one several times, noting that we may find ourselves rationalizing or explaining away the behaviors of a selfish partner in an attempt to give them the benefit of the doubt. Hi Greg, Firstly, good work for simply dealing with it as long as you have you are obviously so much stronger than you think. I always stopped everything to help her, to stay hours remind her how she is incredible. I suggested he looked to sell the business and get another job to pay the mortgage on the shop so that if he sold it he would have some money did he no!! If you can afford to take her on a date, do so ! Your girlfriend should be a source of happiness in your life, not a source of stress. I hate her anxiety. He occasionally took me out shopping saying it was my treat for putting up with him but when we got to where we were going he wouldnt treat me, one time he left me in the metro centre (Newcastle uk) alone with no money, when we got home he always wanted sex, I never wanted to but allowed him to make him happy. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. The best I could do for him was to let him go and wished him happy. Are they really trying to help themselves? She has lost sleep all night, and so did I. Being active/yoga, eating healthy and drinking lots of water can help a lot a lot. But i just seem lost and i need answers, idk if i was harsh and Im totally new at this so Im sorry if i was being harsh and all but plz help. I love her a lot, I just miss her old caring cuddly self! Leave. Sam is just absolute right, Ive been with the same girlfriend for 8 years, helping her to cope with her anxiety and depression, which are not mild, in return I became a cranky, fearful and highly depressed individual, as soon as she moved in with me the symptoms became severe and everything was somehow my fault, even though we always lived under my expense (before at my parents, now at a house that i pay for literally everything) shes not willing to work or do anything, she always finds an excuse why something wont work out (she has a doctors degree, and she can do a lot of things with that particular degree she simply refuses to always citing some excuse about how its never going to work). It can be tough when you feel like your girlfriend doesnt care about your feelings. If I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says I am scary and becomes inconsolable. In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself. She also started to talk about other guys and how they were getting close to her (which i actually found out the guys she was talking about liked her aswel) but when i ask her to not do anything misleading with them, she started arguing with me and saying i wasnt trusting her. I am trying to help her but I could not help anymore than this.i could concentrate on caring myself, could not eat or sleep well. She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. I go out of my way to try to make her feel special. But I really just wanted to Thank You for your post. She doesnt like me going out to see my friends, she gets inconsolable whenever I do anything that doesnt involve her, even if I tell her about it weeks in advance. 6. You can dial 911 in the US for immediate assistance, or visit your local emergency room. You deserve to be happy as well. Or maybe she just doesnt understand how important your feelings are to you. Be found at the exact moment they are searching. But its important to remember that communication is key in any relationship. Im on anti depressants myself but evidently those are for the weak that cant handle reality from her pointof view. Talk to your girlfriend about your concerns and see if shes willing to make some changes. And that one is difficult for boys: you HAVE to not think through your ego. Uffo , I feel like I dont want anything in my life. There was a point in my life when it was obvious I needed to address my depression which exposed itself as anger and Ive been waiting 5 years for her to have the same epiphany. I love her but I just think staying will be self destructive for me and just enabling to her. My Girlfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down. I Feel Helpless! "Do I really love my girlfriend?" 10 signs you do (and 8 - Ideapod Now she stopped the medications for a month ago, and still no affection what so ever. Ive tried to think of ways to break it off that wont make her hate herself, like saying Im gay or having friends pose as drug dealers and freak her out by having them threaten me when shes around. my health is declining. To be patient with her. I feel for all of you guys! No matter what the reason is, its important to address the issue head-on. Taking her depression into her own hands, can that make a person sick? Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. All i see now is cold person who i love and so frustrated by the lack of intimacy. Should I just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day? The medications side effect is sex blocking, also with her off alcohol her mind cant deal with emotions as other people, so basicly we had like 3 times sex this year. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. I listen to her when she calls me when I'm asleep and she's having anxiety attacks. We have to get our sh#t together or be ok with being alone and broke or God forbid settle for the girl were all here talking about. I experience the exact same thing you are talking about with my girlfriend for one year. He started changing we had an argument one time and he cut all way from his wrist to his elbow, I couldnt leave him I had to ditch my mam to see if he was okay before he went to work. Copyright 2023 TRN | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme. I try to make her laugh when she's sad. Also, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me. All rights reserved. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. - She is focused on herself. But I feel so guilty and ashamed and like a failure for wanting this and I dont know what to do. He never told me his true feelings for me until he asked me to be his proper girlfriend (of corse I said yes) the first 3 months was perfect, He treat me like a princess even though he was depressed he was lovely, under one condition, if I didnt go see my friends and I didnt drink alcohol. My Girlfriend Doesnt Care About My Feelings. If you have solution, you are God for me:(, I am crying here because I feel you guys are talking about problem that I am facing. Dont let your girlfriend control your life or dictate how you feel. We were engaged. I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. Talk to her about whats going on in her life and see if theres anything you can do to help her. If shes been through a lot lately or is under a lot of stress, that could be the reason why shes been distant and doesnt seem to care about your feelings. We need ways to keep the flame and love alive. Several possible reasons can explain why your boyfriend won't touch you, including personal insecurities, past traumatic experiences, communication misunderstandings, etc. Her mother was a horrible human, she didn't know her dad until she was 9 and her stepfather abused her. I buy her mother flowers, stay up until she gets back home (I can not drive), put gas in her car and all that. It almost feels as though she is in a better mood when I am down! There is more to life than this, trust me. I let things change for the negative and even though my instinct knew something was wrong I stuck with it because I am loyal and felt love on a certain level that I thought was worth considering. Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. Signs You Don't Want To Be With Your Girlfriend Anymore (39 Signs) Her male friends don't scare you anymore. special july new month prophetic prayers and declarations || nsppd || 3rd july 2023 The most important thing to find is courage to say goodbye because if you dont then say goodbye to your soul . She lacks motivation, and can struggle to get out of bed and finds it very difficult to engage with productive in her life, that I know she wants to do, but that she feels are fake and fleeting. If your girlfriend doesnt seem to care about your feelings, its important to try to communicate your needs more effectively. Or sit down and plan something new to try. Here is the Video About: One sided relationships. You took a leap when you wrote in with your question. Trying to fix it on yours own either no optional. hello, I am this depressed girl, There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. DUMP THE SAD GIRL OTHERWISE SHE WILL DRAG YOU DOWN. "Dating . Im sick of having nothing in my life matter. Is It Normal to Lose Feelings in a Relationship? - Verywell Mind It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". Should I leave her be and wait for her to consult me? Shes most likely cheating already, I mean think about their history as if the ex hasnt tried to make a move on her. I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. Be honest with her and tell her what you need from the relationship. Girls love that kind of crap and its not gay or anything if you do something where you express your feelings. See If Any Underlying Issues Are Causing This Problem. There must be fond memories. Wow. Dating. "It may seem innocent enough like [they talk] more about [their] life than yours on your dates and in your phone conversations," says Russo. I could stay in bed 2 days in a row. Therapy and meds nothing will work. Dont worry too much about your girlfriend saying that you shouldnt talk to her anymore. My background is about as average and underwhelming as it comes. The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh$t together. Exactly. I have seen suicide attempts, aggression and erratic and forceful ways of keeping me locked in the house every time I threaten to leave. SO IF YOU HANG AROUND PEOPLE LIKE THIS YOU WILL TAKE ON THEIR THINKING AND HABITS MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT. Best of luck to you on your journey. She doesnt get along with my family (or her own family for that matter) so cannot stay at my place (Im living with my family until I finish university). Let her know that you feel like shes never there for you and that you need more support from her. My gf & I have been dating for only five months. She wont tell me whats going on. However, it does mean giving her the space she needs to sort out whatever is going on in her life. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. I just listen when I need to just listen. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. She had many great traits and was amazing in some areas of the relationship which made it hard to think about ending the relationship when I thought I was getting so much out of it. Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. This can be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else who can offer impartial advice and help you process your feelings. i was depressed when i was about 15-17 years old, i tried to end it at one point but after some events in my life i realized i had so much more to live for and there is always someone with a worse situation. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on.
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